IT IS OFFICIAL!!!!!!!

Okay so this it...... it's official........I am a college student!!  I have not visited this arena in 40 years!!  That number sounds so BIG............The 40th anniversary of my college graduation is the 21st of this month---how ironic.

I am now enrolled in our local community college and my goal is to earn my assoicate degree in Fine Art.
It is something I have wanted to do all my adult life but never thought I had the talent to follow through.
I signed up for three classes and then after registering realized it is for 13 credit hours!!  So much for starting out slow.

John always worries about me and I try to NOT.  I take one class   art appreciation  for one hour four  mornings a week.  Two evenings a week I take fundamentals of drawing and two afternoons I have sculpture.

So I have two days a week that I am at school for quite a few hours for me.  I am going to make it through the day but am sure will be very tired.  It will be a challenge.

I am so thrilled to be exposed to so many different mediums this course has to offer.

My first big day is April 4th!!  WOO HOO

Just taking the english placement test was fun.....I was the oldest in the room by far but the kids talked to me just as much as everyone else around by me. I am so looking forward to interacting with others on a daily basis.

I hope you all have big and little challenges you are looking forward to as well.
<3

CHRONIC PAIN AND DEPRESSION

Hi Family and old friends.   I have been missing in action for months now.  I have shared before the ups an downs with my neurologic condition called RSD/CRPS.  It is a constant battle trying to force the chronic pain to the background of my life.  The last 9 -10 months, it has been winning.  Some days it takes all of my effort to even get out of bed with the pain.   I do not take pain pills because am allergic to almost all of them.

These pictures above explain the constant types of pain those with RSD endure.  The stabbing in different parts of your body, if yours is widespread like mine.....or just in one affected area.  The burning literally feels like someone has set you on fire and you cannot put it out.   It takes a lot of will power to push it away but some days I am just completely out of gas.

This is the MCGILL PAIN SCALE...it is used in medicine to rate levels of pain for different  "ocurrences".

I often tell people, that ask, that I would rather be in labor all day, than have this stabbing and burning crap.

But then I had four babies and four very easy labors...even having number three at home--had 6 contractions at home and there she was!!

One thing that happens whether you want it or not is the chronic depression due to the chronic pain and isolation this disease wroughts.

You feel just like this......HELP  I AM TRAPPED IN MY LIFE AND I CAN'T GET OUT!!!!!!!

Some days are much easier to get up and out of bed than others.  More days than not, it would be so easy to just pull the covers back over my head and stay there and pretend life was just great.

I have SO MANY BLESSINGS in my life  that I am so greatful for.  I thank GOD for such a loving and supportive family......John is the best.  I know he gets worried about me and I worry about me as well.
It is so easy to smile on the outside and ruminate in a rut on the inside.

This sign says it all.......except the LOVE is NOT cancelled.......John and I are heading toward our 40th wedding anniversary and are in as much love as ever...if not more.  This illness has brought us much closer.
For many people, it tears their relationships apart and they end in divorce.  Makes me so said and angry at the person who doesn't have the strength or enough love to stay when the going gets tough.

I was never one to take any medicine in my life.....even went to great lengths to avoid aspirin, etc.
Now am on medicine to help me sleep.....the RSD affects the sleep center of the brain....and causes chronic insomnia.  It also affects the emotional center so when depression starts from the chronic pain, it just builds.

Drugs help me sleep and 'lift' my mood.....I used to go to work and sing and hum my way through the day  so am trying to get back into that effort.
So  in order to MOVE ON   and quit spinning in the mud   I am making notes here to try to be more positive and with LIFE in general.  To do that I have set up some goals for long term as well as just every day.
Once out there in print.......it is easier to make myself more accountable.

1.  start classes towards an art degree( i have been in some aspect of nursing since age 15 and after 32 years as a real nurse am ready to feed my creative side)  I have never taken art in school or otherwise  just a few classes here and there. 

2. make art every day   whether it is an hour on a sketch or a quick sketch or some project

3. sew something every day    have tons of ideas and patterns as well as granchildren to sew for!!!

4.  visit my elderly neighbor at least two evenings a week   she calls me her best friend and is 87
Angie has known me since I have been about 12.  She moved across the street from us 7 years ago.

5.when spring shows up   and it will soon  we are safe from all the snow the rest of the US is enduring
make outdoor projects.......cement, glass,  gardening etc.

Okay  my art project for today is painting the pantry door in chalkboard paint.
I am happy to be back and will be visiting your blogs soon.
Thank you John, Ryan and Lehua, Sarah and Ryan, Bethany and Bryce, Brianna and Jason;
Nakiah, Tovijoi, Sydne, Lauryn, Rylee Joy, Nai'a and Elijah.......you are my life  and make it so SWEET!!!!

WHEN IT RAINS......................................

Last week was just one of those weeks......one thing after another!! 

First, I was working in my studio... for a change... and was singing along and heard this 'beep beep beeep' noise from the computer........like when something sits on it or the cat walks across it and it stands on one key.

I looked over to tell the cat to get off and much to my shock  I see my WATER bottle glug glugging all over my open laptop!!!    I had knocked it off without realizing it.

My laptop sits on a lower table than my main working table.  I grabbed it up and drained as much water out as possible.  I called the geek squad at Best Buy and they said to take a hair dryer set on cool and see if  that would help dry up the water.............................don't try it ...........it doesn't work.   The computer went black and would not even turn on.  

I went out to see my honey. very sad face on,  and I was SAD and P'OD at myself.  I love my computer.

He looked at me and said  'What's wrong?"  me said "I just fried my computer with a bottle of water."

"oh  no!!"   Oh yeaah"

What a sweetheart.  He said' let's take it over to the Office and see if they can help'.

Definitely deep fried.........John told the tech I thought it was thirsty an gave it a drink.  I think she thought we were both nuts but that's okay.

I only have a thousand or so pics on there so have to take it in to get them removed....

IN the meantime.................we bought a new laptop for me. 

Thank you sweet John!!!

I have a larger screen and windows 7 so am up to date on that.

I am having fun figuring out the stuff on the computer.

The very next day I dropped my small digital camera and it broke!!

Aye yi!  So I took it into the same store.  Thankfully I had a warranty.

The tech said   'oh did you decide to bathe this one?' HA 

smiling  here

My warranty provided me with a new camera to take the following pics.

that's number two.

John said to me   I hope this isn't where things come in threes!"

But alas  it certainly was!!!

Saturday night I decided to go down the stairs to see my honey.  I usually have to scoot up and down on my butt if there are more than a few.  So am trying to get in that mode when my rsd knee gives out and I fall forward and down the stairs I go hitting my chest and knees all the way down.

I could hear John running across the family room yellling  OH NO NO NO!!!

When I reached the bottom I was in shock and the adrenaline was covering the pain.

We weren't sure how we were going to get me up the stairs----John ran to a neighbor to get him and they both decided to call 911.  Then John put a folded towel around my neck and taped it in place to keep my neck immobile.

The first to show up was the local fire dept and their EMTS.

Three very cute young men..........probably all my son's age.

They were very professional and did their job well.  I said john look at all these cute guys  you should take a picture for the 'girls'...........He was embarassed to and didn't think it was ethical so we didn't.

But i thought there was definitely something wrong with the picture---nice looking young men and ME an overweight 60 yr old!!!

The first thing they did was put me on this back board and neck brace then did the fireman carry up the stairs.

Our stairs are narrow--older house----and they would have to navigate a sharp corner at the top.

Now I am on the gurney(stretcher) and off we go.  Comb my hair honey? HA

Here is my carriage.....waiting for me!!  Thank you Patrick emt with the ambulance for being so nice.

They run the lights over head the entire way and it has NO SHOCKS

Take a breath in.....HOLD IT......................breathe

Peek a boo!!!!  The adrenaline is starting to wear off and I hurt here and over here and down here and on my!!

My loving Knight---SIR JOHN

I am ever so blessed

Talking about what is going on!

Epilogue:

No broken bones...........multiple strains, aches, and bruises.

I have spent the last few days laying around sleeping and reading and sleeping with the muscle relaxants.

I have been thinking about how blessed I am with John and my family, our caring neighbors,

living where medical treatment is right around the corner and pills to make the pain less!! HEE HEE